It started out with just one phone call, from the beginning…There was one point..for while..I thought it could be us against the world. You started making feel more and more that I could trust you, but the reason I hold on..I can’t see it anymore..The light in your eyes is gone.
I feel that maybe I’m making up this feeling that you don’t care when you are physically in front of me. I fall for you all over again every time I see you, and when you go it just hurts so much more each time..the reason I hold on..when you tell me to move on. All I wanted was you…I want you to stay.
Sleeping at night seems impossible when I can’t figure out why you would never let me in to help you heal your losses and struggles..as you said before-” we make things happen together, isn’t that what couples are supposed to do?”. I did so much to try and make things easier for you everyday. You say my needs are too much for you,..what about your needs? You have so much but you said I love you first.. This Tango was supposed to take two.
Then you go to leave and you wonder why I’m so mad..why I can’t be happy that you seem better off without me. Though you keep pulling me back scared your going to lose me. You show me the real feelings and tell me to stop its going to be ok but it’s not..
Then you give me that face.That you know, what you did and you just call yourself an idiot. I forgave you. It’s not about that anymore..its about here and now..not really sure how to feel about it. Every time I try say something in person but I’m just not sure what would happen..to us.
You think its so easy but what would you do in my position? Why should I not feel the need to talk to you everyday, or tag you in my life activities when I wish you were there doing them with me..wish that it was more than a sexual for us to hang out a whole day. Your stressing my heart which makes me dream of how you hurt me in real life and I just want you to be happy with what you have, me!
This scare was enough for me to realize if all you want is my reassurance that I wont leave you. You can’t have it anymore. I can’t trust you, and without trust there can be no love…the pain hurts more everyday- so much it feels like I’m dying. I would have died for you. I realized I wasn’t that important. In reality, as I type this, and I will be sending this to you, its better that we don’t see each other again..Better for both of us. If I can’t have you, then there’s is no point trying anymore. It can’t just be about your struggle. I’ll love you always and forever. <3
He says such sweet things that just make you wanna cry.
He isn’t afraid to be himself around me, and picks on me cause he knows he can make me smile that way.
He dances in his own fancy way that makes you feel special, and you forget the whole world is around you.
I just don’t ever want him to go. I love him. I promise to always be good to him.